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Ashes to ashes

Wednesday, February 28, 2001

Matthew 6:1-6, 16-18
Jesus says, (verse 16) "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.

I confess.

I get a sweet feeling when I put a check in the church offering. Sending money to a ministry or missionary, there's an emotional rush involved. Hardly ego-less. Peace...joy...sense of doing-it-right...satisfaction, all those words come to mind.

These giving moments are times, too rare, that I experience the flow of God's riches through the agency of "Dave". Holding on and letting go is one of the basic rhythms of physical life, but I think God wants to me to let go more and hold on less.

I understand that Jesus is telling me not to disrupt the feeling of flow by taking at the same time I give. Water valves allow flow one way at a time. Computers don't process input and output simultaneously. And basic physics applies also to my spiritual life.

Another confession...it feels good sometimes when people praise me for my giving. Hardly a big surprise, it's true for most of us. And Jesus is just telling me that there's something more and if I'm not careful I'll miss it.

This is Ash Wednesday. Ashes on the forehead, commitment to fasting during Lent, quiet time with God. Let the giving begin. "And God won't overlook what we're doing; he'll reward us well"
(The Message, Matthew 16:18)

Lord, put blinders on my eyes so I will not watch for the praise of others. Let me by wholly focused on you, and let me watch you giving and learn from you. Learn to give.



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