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New year lifeSaturday, January 1, 2005
Numbers 6:24-26
We are not, John Bradshaw said, human doings. We are human beings. Beings. University of Illinois theater's Krannert Center puts up billboards. "BeIng MATTERs." To be (or not to be) might be the only thing that matters as I begin this year. Again. As I sit writing this I feel surrounded by time. I haven't rested like I thought I would, not last year, not the year before, not the year before that. Maybe this year? I used to buy books; now I buy DVDs...maybe I will watch them this year. Or if not this year, then when I retire, when I slow down, when I have time. Numbers 6 rescues me from my muggle struggle. I am without prerequisite, without work, and still the Lord comes to bless me. Keep me. In this one year named 2005, caught between Alpha and Omega, God continues to shine his face upon me and fill my life with his grace. Dance, dance, wherever we may be. Can you just imagine standing quietly in the queue before God Almighty, and then without warning He lifts his head, his face shining, his eyes strong and clear and true looking straight into all us ones he made, one at a time, me and you and us all. The Lord lift up his countenance upon you. Can I do anything to demand his grace and peace? This peace that surpasses understanding? No. Not one thing. Only stand to be blessed and kept and loved. On this bare unplanted place of January 1, I am yours, Lord. You call me and I rush to join the swarm of children crawling and running and rushing toward your sweet, sweet arms.
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Resolutions about rest have dominated my New Year's for years now. Watch more movies, sleep longer, read more books. Do less. Be more.