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Growing upTuesday, April 3, 2007
John 13:37-38
And Jesus answered, "Will you really lay down your life for me? I tell you the truth, before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times!"
What went wrong with Peter? In Gethsemane he would defend Jesus and cut off a soldier's ear with his sword. He was not a coward, but he was about to act like one. In Jesus' absence his vision faltered. Jesus had shown him the joy and fullness of life. There seemed to be no end to what Jesus could accomplish. The sky was the limit! And now Jesus' hands were tied behind his back. He wore a crown of thorns. He had been whipped. He could barely walk. Peter saw nothing but death before him. Jesus was going to die. Jesus' words must have come back to Peter ... "I will be with you only a little longer. You will look for me. But where I am going, you cannot come." Surely he didn't mean death. Peter knew now that he did. Jesus had also said, "You cannot follow me now, but you will follow later." Free from his initial panic, Peter knew he wanted to follow Jesus into death. And weeks later when he encountered Jesus again and Jesus probed his commitment, he made the promise one more time. This time, he could carry it out. Peter's brash confidence was replaced first by despair and then by humble surrender. Peter died and was given new life. God took him where he wanted him to go. Lord, you'll take me through whatever you want to bring me to your harvest. Thank you for all of that. You know me better than I can ever know myself. |
After Peter did indeed disown Jesus three times, he was heart-broken and repentant. Jesus walked by, looked at him, and Peter knew what he had done. He loved Jesus but pretended he was nothing to him. He followed Jesus but refused to admit it. Earlier he told Jesus, "There is no one else but you." And now in some danger, he turned away from the "only One" into the blank stares and carelessness of strangers.