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Waiting in the darkness

Sunday, December 3, 2000

Luke 21:34
Jesus says, "Be careful or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness, and the anxieties of life; and that day (the last day) will close on you unexpectedly like a trap."

This is the the first Sunday of December, the darkest month of the year in the northern hemisphere. It's also the first day of Advent, the church season which aims to make us aware of the darkness of the world before Jesus was born, the emptiness of the life we live without him in it.

Today I returned from a weekend retreat at Taylorville Correctional Center (politically correct language meaning "state prison"). Nine of us (farmer/ accountant/ engineer/counselor, etc) visited 67 inmates. The inmates and their visitors took turns letting God turn each other's water into wine, and the darkness lifted for a time. However, I was glad to be in a prison on the first day of Advent, because at least I was reminded by my surroundings of the reality of life without God. That would have been more difficult in the mall or in Walmart, where the Christmas music has been playing already for days. There is no waiting, no darkness, no wondering what's coming next...at the mall.

Several of the inmates talked about how amazed they were at their own contentment. The experience of prison, which they expected to be the worst time of their lives, instead brought them peace as they finally took time to be with God. They have become more observant, more aware of their own thoughts and feelings, more sensitive to the voice of God as they become, however artificially, quiet and still.

As I re-enter my own little world, the "anxieties of life" are upon me. They are heavy. I can sense the fading of that contentment which comes from being full of music and prayer and fellowship. How quickly it can run through my fingers. "Be careful," Jesus says. Be full of care. Take the time to notice what you do, and how you do it. Know my truth, receive it, become full. Advent begins.

Lord, the words in my heart, the words that come from you, fill me up. Thank you. Teach me to be quiet, observant, listening. Waiting for you. Amen.



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