Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

Fire of belonging

Friday, December 23, 2005

Malachi 3:1-4
"See. I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come," says the Lord Almighty.

But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner's fire.

God knows me better than anyone. He made me. He knows the inner workings, not just of my kidneys and pituitary gland, but of my mind. How much better he knows me than I know myself.

Do I want what I think I want? Open up my eyes, he says. They are open, I say. Open them wider, he says. They are open as wide as they can be, I say. So then God touches my eyes, and suddenly I see.

Suddenly I see the Lord, whom I desire, and he has come. And I am ... what did King James say about the shepherds ... I am sore afraid. Ouch! Too weak a word. Words are too weak, period. They sound too much like Linus reading the Christmas story in the grade school gym.

These words from Malachi are just his rendition of Yahweh coming to him, opening Himself, leaning on Malachi just a little, so he'll get a glimpse of the Day of His Coming, the Refiner's Fire. The manger straw goes up and is gone, the old wood burns fast, nothing left but the little baby, red cheeks, eyes wide open, seeing everything.

Then I walk up wondering what's going on. God touches me, and my senses just open up. In this ring of fire my ears ache with old lies and foolishness, my mind's eye fills with what I failed to give, my sorry self immolated by the Refiner, and what can I do but fall on my face in the snow? Fall on my face in the dust. Fall on my face in the ashes.

Linus and I are sore afraid. We know God's love and the shape that takes ... of forgiveness AND insistence, of grace AND insistence, of mercy AND insistence, that God will have his own way. He made me. He knows me. He refines me. And makes me whole.

Lord, I know you lift me up out of the snow. Tenderly. And then I look into your eyes, and I know you know everything. Let me open to you, Lord, and receive your fire.

Take a look: http://pepperguy.com/newblog/?p=489

Devotions Archive

Fire of belonging

Friday, December 23, 2005