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Fires in the spring

Wednesday, March 20, 2019

From Matthew 20
Jesus asked, "Can you drink the cup that I am going to drink?" And they said to him, "We can." He replied, "You will indeed drink from my cup."

Most of Zebedee's family seems impatient, although for Zebedee himself, a fisherman, patience is as important in his tackle box as hooks and line. As for his sons and their mother, they're in a hurry. They want assurances. What might come later must be promised now.

Jesus turns their question into his question, and then changes the subject entirely. He is not interested in power, and neither should they be. "Can you follow me into the fire?" What comes after ... comes after. Let's take this one step at a time.

I think Jesus knew that time was short with his twelve disciples and many friends. He had taught them so much, but despite three years of repetition, they still sought power! The kingdom of heaven is never about power, but humility, cooperation, and service, and James and John, two of his favorites, failed to see.

"Do you want to be stood up on either side of my cross, nailed to your own?" James will be nowhere found when Jesus drags his cross to Golgotha and is crucified. John will stand with Mother Mary, and look up with her at Jesus dying. He cannot leave her. But these few days before the killing, they have no idea.

Taking the suggestion of today's "Pray As You Go" Jesuit guide, I imagine myself into the story. I imagine being James, taller and stronger than John, asking Mother to speak to the Master. But I am timid, and when Jesus speaks, I shrink. Fire springs from Jesus' eyes, and he stares right through me. My feet are hot inside my sandals. My face is red. Tears well up in my eyes. What made me think I could stand beside the throne of Jesus? I'm a wimp.

Can I drink his cup? What cup? Of course, I can drink from his cup.

He doesn't think I understand. I don't, but then he uses himself as an example. "Like me, James. I came to serve, not to be served." And in a flash I knew it was true. His strength always comes as he gives himself to someone: "What do you want me to do for you?" Each time he does this his power grows and grows.

"I will give my life for you, James. Don't be afraid." Jesus eyes don't waver and they never leave mine.

Oh, Jesus, we are approaching Jerusalem. Your strides seem longer, you plant your footsteps hard into the road. You rarely speak, but still you smile and love us, still you stop with us to eat and sleep, still we are your children and you our Master. Surely this never needs to end. Can the spring not last forever?



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