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Peace like a river

Friday, December 14, 2001

Isaiah 48:17-19
This is what the Lord says, your Redeemer, the
Holy One of Israel:
I am the Lord your God,
Who teaches you in the way you should go;
If only
you had paid attention to my commands,
your peace would have been like a river,
your righteousness like the waves of the sea,
your descendants would have been like the sand,
your children like its numberless grains;
their name would never be cut off nor destroyed from before me.


And there was weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth. When God uses those words, "if only you had..." there is nothing more to be done. His patience is used up. And for the men and women suffering, listening to Isaiah, their peace is gone, their righteousness is suspect, their children betray them, and worst of all their God speaks, "you have only yourselves to blame."

Our front room is full of Christmas tree. The counters are covered with balsam greens, a stuffed mouse peeks out from the corner. Santa waves and a caroler sings, candles are ready to be lit. Christmas music from English cathedrals fills the morning, a headline from Afghanistan lies black on top of yesterday's paper. And today the snow falls, finally, in huge flakes, covering the grass that's still green in mid December.

Another hour of Advent burns away. What am I waiting for? What words are there to put on this dis-satisfaction? God gives me words...I want peace, flowing like a river through my soul. And I want freedom from guilt, from fear, from "angst" - the anxiety that robs me of one moment after another. I want to trust myself and my brothers and sisters, and my children, to be a family, a functional family, a full-house family rubbing shoulders, falling before God together in joy, new.

I want Jesus. Come soon, Jesus. Come soon.



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