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MandalaThursday, February 18, 2010
Luke 9:23-25 Now I'm awake, what choices will I make? Jesus calls me into truth. If there is grief, let me grieve. If I am sad, let me know my sadness. If there is any brokenness in store for me today, Jesus tells me to open my arms wide and let it come. He will show me how. My ego fights this off. I know better, I have been given the gift of the knowledge of good and evil. Some gift. My knowledge is too limited to be of much use, and I mistake good for evil, evil for good most every day of my life. Jesus says, "Self help is no help at all ... let me show you how." I just can't think my way to his place of peace. My self-interest bridles at the insult when I ask inside myself for sacrifice. Where is wisdom when I need it, and integrity, and the grace I'm told I should give myself? Rainer Maria Rilke, favorite poet of lovers of life on earth, embraces death as the way toward life most full. Of course this sounds like a contradiction, as do the words of Jesus. But they are no less true for being confusing and hard to grasp. I might not be able to think it through, but I can choose to live it out. Maybe better words are "faith it out." Follow. See what happens next. Eyes wide open, watching only Jesus. Lord, let me thrill to your word, let me chew on Scripture day and night. Make me a tree replanted in Eden, bearing fresh fruit for you each month, never dropping a leaf, always in bloom. Chart my road, Lord. Lead me in the Way. --- Psalm 1, The Message |
I need to hear this every day. This morning I woke up caught in dream-skein, forgetting what day it was, blurry. There was a choosing going on, between heavy and light, between despair and joy, which I noticed ... finally. I took a few deep breaths and entered the day.