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The disciples' fear

Sunday, May 5, 2013

John 14:27
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid."

http://www.usccb.org/bible/readings/050513.cfm

But we are afraid!

Well, of course you are afraid. Why would I tell you not to be afraid, if you were not afraid?

We cannot go on without you. You are our rock and our stronghold. We are weak and you are strong. The wind blows through us and cuts us down; you command the wind to be still, and it is still. You cannot leave us.

When we said these things to Jesus, we saw his eyes soften. He knew they were true. He knows we are weak. He wants us to learn that his power is made perfect in our weakness. When we are weak, then we are actually strong.

If I close my eyes, and imagine Jesus really gone, a great well of sadness floods my chest. It rushes into my throat, my mouth, my eyes. Breath after breath. Wailing, whimpering, crushed. His presence is more precious than life. Before I had only heard of him, but now I have seen him. Losing Jesus feels like eating dust and ashes.

Then Jesus' eyes gaze into mine, and his quiet quiets me. Just a simple touch of his hand on my cheek, as he passes through the room and touches us all, and we know - he really is leaving. He insists that we also know that his peace and power will not leave us.

You will do the works I have been doing, and you will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father.

With his hand he assures us. With his eyes he captures our hearts. His peace and power will continue to sustain us. Our breathless fear subsides and we breathe again. Quiet, waiting. Waiting in the silent, invisible Presence for the moving power of God.

In this deep waiting of the Easter season, waiting for the Holy Spirit to descend, your silence, Lord, is far richer than any words can tell.



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