Christian Counseling Service -- Devotions

Parallel journeys

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Matthew 2:9-12
After their audience with the king the Magi set out. And behold, the star that they had seen at its rising preceded them, until it came and stopped over the place where the child was. They were overjoyed at seeing the star, and on entering the house they saw the child with Mary his mother. They prostrated themselves and did him homage. Then they opened their treasures and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, they departed for their country by another way.

Once upon a time (a week before Father's Day 2009) in a far off north country (southern Wisconsin) I went to church on a fine Sunday with my friends. We didn't need directions but I had a new GPS and wanted to follow the floating star (actually a line snaking through the country straight to church). So we did.

We prayed at church and held hands while reciting the Lord's Prayer. We hugged each other affectionately and asked God for peace. Then, in response to a particularly convicting moment of the homily, delivered with humor and energy and not especially directed at me, I asked God what he wanted me to give up.

"Give your GPS to Kenny," He said.

Oh, Boy.

I squirmed in my seat. We were on a men's retreat together, and I had been kind of bragging about the conversations God and I were having. I never failed to feel God's love in what He said. I squirmed some more and felt beads of sweat on the top of my back. We took communion together. In the car when the service was over, me and the other wise men got back in the car. I turned my stargazer back on. The GPS guided us back to town, back home, back and back and back ... I guess I'm more honest with these guys than pretty much anybody, and it wasn't long before I told them what had happened. They laughed, they teased me, they left it all up to me. No judgment. No pain.

I kept the GPS. It felt a little greasy in my hands, but I kept it anyway. Kenny emailed me and told me he would have given me back the GPS after I gave it to him. I hadn't thought of that, which I guess is good because that would have made it all so easy. My friends weren't judging me, but I was sure judging myself.

I had some pretty powerful excuses/reasons to postpone the parting. We took Star-Seeker on a trip to Austin after Andi got married, and it was very helpful until it crashed halfway through the trip. Back home I reinstalled all the software and it came back to life. Part of me forgot the whole summer giveaway command, and I felt good about things. The conversations between God and me were as good as ever.

Late October the whole thing gathered steam again, though and finally, a few days before Thanksgiving, I boxed up Kenny's GPS and mailed it off, hoping to get it to him before someone else bought him one for Christmas. Margaret was pretty happy for me, happy to see me stop wringing my hands, happy to see me do a right thing. Then I heard from Kenny:

Up until that time in June I had no need for or ever wanted a GPS. Then my struggle begins. Almost every time I was in a store that sold GPS's I would check them out. At Sam's Club about two months ago I put one in my cart and dragged it around the store with me before finally putting it back before leaving ... do I really want this thing or I am just trying to measure up somehow? (To paraphrase Jesus: was this GPS made for me, or was I made for the GPS?)

Who am I? Of course on some days I am so so so glad and happy and Joyful to be allowed to even be on this journey of trying to be more like Christ, I float around on the inside and I'm the only one knowing I'm floating. Then comes the other Ken: look good on the outside and let my mind rip with ugly comparing and most any other junk thoughts that are not Christ's ways ...

The package from Dave arrives, in Christ's time, saving me from playing games trying to be on both sides of the fence. The feeling after opening that package was TRUST IN JESUS - stop trying to play games with him. He allows only the best to be given. "Use this trust to continue to allow ME (Jesus) to help you; you don't do very well without ME ..."

Here's the thing: When you know Jesus is allowing you to get better and you know everyone has Jesus wanting them to be like him, the mystery is: what grace allows who to say yes? My journey continues and the mystery is not solved, but I Pray to keep saying yes before saying no to the Christ in me to those around me ..."

"And having been warned in a dream not to return to Herod, the Magi turned on their GPS and departed for their country ... by another way."

Lord, these moments when your love is so real in the words and actions of a friend ... thank you for providing those moments for us all. Make us instruments of your peace. Build us up. Help me to see the wholeness of You in me and not focus on my piece-meal obedience. Your love polishes and grinds and shapes me. You are making all things new.

Devotions Archive

Parallel journeys

Sunday, January 3, 2010