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I am strong, I am invincible, I am ...Monday, April 16, 2001
Matthew 28:1-15 For seeing that in the cross, death, and burial of Christ, nothing but weakness appears, faith must go beyond all these, in order that it may be provided with full strength. (Institutes of the Christian Religion, Chapter 16, Section 13) Some of our emotions are what psychologists call "weak" feelings. Among these are fear, disappointment, hurt and sadness. When we feel this way we feel drained, exhausted, weak - physically and mentally. We also have "strong feelings." Anger is a "strong" feeling. The adrenalin that our bodies release in anger make us feel strong and energized. Because it produces such a powerful physical reaction it can actually be addictive. And we often learn to replace the "weak" feelings with anger in order to replace our sense of weakness with strength. But because our bodies use adrenalin only for quick rushes of energy, the strong feeling doesn't last long. Often we are left feeling empty and depressed. The technical word for this process is "grief." It happens all the time. If we understand the process it's much easier to deal with. When we let the emotions come into and through us as cleanly as possible, not stopping them, we become calm and stable much more quickly. In a fallen world cursed by death, it's the best tool we have. Because we cannot conquer death, we grieve. I see Mary holding Jesus' body as he falls from the cross, screaming. I watch the feelings inside her move in and out of anger and despair as she wails at heaven, beseeching God to give him back to her, refusing to believe he's dead until finally she has no energy left. When she arrives at the tomb on the third day she is empty. Anger has given way to despair. It is then that God's way of dealing with death, far superior to our grieving, invades and revitalizes Mary's life. God's strength is not the helpless strength of anger but the powerful strength of joy, of confidence, of life that does not die. In the face of Jesus' resurrection and the promise of mine to come, I see that the way I often use anger is nothing more than a shallow, ineffective, unnecessary alternative to the joy of my salvation. Both give me strength, but one comes from hell, the other from heaven. Lord, illumine my life with your joy. Thank you for the glimpses you give me of life beyond anger, beyond grief, beyond death. It is more real than anything else I know. |
John Calvin wrote,