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He picked who?!

Saturday, April 14, 2012

Mark 6:9-15
Jesus appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had driven seven demons. She told his companions, but they did not believe. Then he appeared to two of them walking. They told the others, but they did not believe them either. Later as they were eating, he appeared to the Eleven and rebuked them for their unbelief and hardness of heart. And (still) Jesus told them, "Go into the whole world and proclaim the Gospel to every creature."

In The Problem of Pain, C. S. Lewis wrote, "God is not proud. He will have us even though we have shown that we prefer everything to him." Like most of us most of the time, Jesus' disciples were too often closed-minded, judgmental, afraid and self-protective. Mark says that Jesus doesn't hesitate to point this out.

And Jesus chooses them anyway. "Go into all the world and proclaim the Gospel." His disciples are to become the messengers of God. The Holy Spirit will release them from the bonds of Babel, from the bonds of spiritual elitism, and from the bonds of fear. But, you know, they were just like us.

God's willingness to wait for our permission to work his grace within us must "slow" him down. Or ... not? This is a western idea; in less developed parts of the world, time is not seen something to lose, or waste, or run out of. It is a Renewable Resource; there is always more time tomorrow. The rhythm of life moves smoothly from day to day.

One thing I do know: when God waits, it blesses me. I am not left alone in the station as God's train pulls out. The locomotive keeps rumbling, the conductor keeps hollering, "All aboard!" The steam rolls under the cars, and it becomes clear that God isn't going anywhere without me. He will wait, while I realize the value He places in me, how much He really does need me. Little old me.

C. S. Lewis continues, "If He who in himself can lack nothing chooses to need us, it is because we need to be needed." "Free will" is a joyous, awesome freedom which comes into its own as I realize my value. There is nothing better than giving myself to the One who loves me more and knows me better than I will ever love or know myself.

Sometimes we call this need to be needed "codependency," Jesus, and think it is something to grow out of. Maybe. Sometimes. But when you "need" me, please open my eyes and let me at least partly believe it. As I comprehend ever so slowly the value you have put in me, life becomes the most wonderful adventure I can imagine.



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